Taylor Ham from Jersey

Been so busy but I had to share this. One more reason why leaving Jersey was close to impossible for me: TAYLOR HAM!

Ledger Live - 12-18-08

Be Fair

I do not discuss politics with people who don't agree with me. Whether it's my nature to be non confrontational, my laziness, or a combination of both, I cannot tell for sure. One thing I do understand is people. I know why they are against gay marriage. Religion is often used as the reason why people are against gay marriage or gay people in general. The real truth is that it just doesn't feel right to them, what one journalist called the "ick" factor. I understand that. I grew up with that. If I weren't gay, my gut feeling would probably be to agree that marriage should be between a man and a woman.

I'm sure that's what people felt in 1967 about interracial marriage. Gut feel: it's wrong. But aren't human beings defined more by their intellect and their compassion. Our own parents probably felt the "ick" factor seeing interracial marriage, believing it was "wrong" and "unnatural". Yet we know now that it is NO BIG DEAL. Not right, not better, not threatening to our culture. If you were alive then, which side would you have been on? Would you have let your "ick" factor, even if validated by religious beliefs, keep you from doing what you now know to be fair?

And it really is just about fairness. Two adults want a chance for love. To have what everyone else has. Why pick and choose which religious doctrine to fight and which to ignore? Divorce is a BREAK of the sanctity of marriage yet there are no movements to ban that.

I do understand homophobia. I grew up in it, my religion preached it, my family taught it to me, and I still have it. But I know what is fair. Marriage for all is fair.

Saturday Night

So Pinky decides to make a last minute trip to NYC (I baptized her a "NYCHI", borrowed from the New York-London jetsetters called NYLONs). I took the Saturday afternoon bus to Port Authority and worked out at the Times Square branch of my gym. Met them for dinner at Wan Dee Siam, a shoebox of a restaurant that serves amazing Thai food (total cost of bill with tax and tip= $10 each). Katrina and Pinky hand me a coupon for 50%-off the play they are about to see (The 39 Steps). I get a last row center seat in the mezzanine and watch an award winning play last minute wearing gym shorts. Kip and I had made plans to meet up for drinks that night so I take the subway to Chelsea, have a lot of drinks at a gay sports bar, and ride with Kip back to my home in Montclair.

A night like this is why I cannot leave the NYC/NJ area.

SNL Spoof

Can't get enough of this short....

Kayaking

About 12 years ago, I got it in my head that I would start white water kayaking. Took a class in North Carolina, bought the gear, went out a couple of times. Never really had fun because I was so scared of flipping over then not being able to right myself (the eskimo roll). What then ended up happening was I would bail out of the kayak into frigid waters, drag my boat to shore, drain it, and get back on the river as my party waited. I never went out with friends, always strangers. Afraid of making mistakes, I became nervous kayaker, making me flip over even more.

Kayak moves to the basement.

Last month, Paul bought a kayak and he now wants to learn how to do an eskimo roll. The first time I got in my kayak in Alan's pool, my heart started to race. What the hell am I doing back in this thing?!?! But being with friends in a warm pool on a sunny day: completely different experience. So after many tries, I was actually able to do it! I wasn't able to get Paul to successfully roll but next week, we're headed back to Alan's. Don't know if I'm ready to face the cold rivers again (don't tell Paul) but this is definitely a start.

Fun with Photoshop

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Originally uploaded by Tengaport

Alan's Dad was giving me my first golf lesson. Alan and his photoshop tricks made it look like a Jedi weekend in Boca.

Peak Potential Dinner

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Originally uploaded by Tengaport

The past and present board members (and administrators) had a dinner courtesy of Dr. Fu and his wife. Food was amazing and you couldn't beat the company. It was great getting to know Fu's parents. Their work ethic and dedication to their parents is truly inspiring. Plus I got to hang-out with Dawn.

Alanis

I know a lot of people cringe just at the sound of her name (or her voice or both). But I will always be a huge Alanis fan mainly for her songwriting. She is fearless in confronting her self-doubt and insecurity and what a struggle the process is. Her lyrics constantly echo what I feel about myself and the world. Yet the style is very pop, there's usually a good hook, so they're fun to sing!

This video has her explain a bit about the song she sings, which is my favorite in the new album. Her feeling of constantly running to reach a "finish line" where she will feel complete, not being able to enjoy the present. I am so there.

Cantaloupe Salad

Cantaloupe Salad
Originally uploaded by Mike Dec

Last week, I was telling my patient how I had steamed green beans with my asian pork medallions (we both watch Top Chef so we talk about food a lot). When she found out I did this for myself alone, she said with astonishment "Boy, you treat yourself well."

I would be dishonest if I said I didn't know what her tone of voice meant. A lot of people I talk to report being reduced to cereal for dinner once they are by themselves, if they even eat at all. "What's the use?", they say. Like eating alone is too sad to warrant real food.

Add to the list of things to be shameful about would be the shame of being single. I feel it, fight it, accept it, and go back to fighting it again. Am I not to eat good, healthy, even decadent food sans a companion? Early in my solitary life I resolved to be independent, to not let my singleness stop me from experiencing life, to not only survive but to thrive.

So I went from having a repertoir consisting solely of eggs to reading magazines on how to cook to now experimenting with unusual combinations. Sometimes I practice dishes before I have company over. But mostly I cook for my own consumption. Good food, party of one.....

I'm in the middle of reading "Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant: Confessions of Cooking for One and Dining Alone". It's a very humorous, at times surpisingly touching, collection of essays of people facing the challenges and pleasures of eating by themselves. Breaking bread with these authors and foodies helps me be part of a hidden part of humanity. one that may be slowly emerging out of the shadows. Some cooking magazines now have sections dedicated to recipes for one. Maybe solitary living (and eating) is coming out of the closet? (How many of these closets am I in and how come my condo doesn't have this many!?!)

So Whole Foods and the farmer's market will continue to see me in their aisles, breaking apart their bananas into smaller servings. By the way, anyone is welcome to invite themselves over for a meal. Call first though. I'm often busy.

Pagkalinawans Visit

Princeton

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Originally uploaded by JenFu

Went to Princeton today to help them establish a program similar to Peak Potential. Beautiful spring day, sunny and cold. The wall was in one of the structural "pillars" around the stadium: a tight square that went higher than any gym I had been to. It reminded of Pinky's story about a grain silo in Wisconsin that they converted into a climbing gym.

About eight kids came. The two hours flew by as we assisted kids, taught students, supervised them as they took over belaying volunteers then kids, and finally them climbing with kids. The volunteers were amazing. They were doing things that took me months to get comfortable with. There are still things to iron out, administrative things I actually enjoy figuring out.

I could barely keep my eyes open on the way home, so tired. Thankfully Paul drove. It's a gift that I am able to be part of this. That in some small way, I am doing good.

Spring

Ongoing Saga of the bathroom

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Originally uploaded by Mike Dec

So after Frank dropped off his miter saw in January but never managed to find the time to start the project, Rob stepped in to help me out. I used to work with Rob many jobs ago and lost touch with him. He reappeared in my life when he started volunteering for Peak Potential and we managed to start again where we left off. He has a wife, two daughters, and a house full of projects but he still volunteered to help me out. Maybe all my questions about wainscoting and miter saws finally made him give in. Whatever my luck with everything else in my life, my luck with friends has always been incredible. Their hearts always inspire me to be a better friend.

Chris and Blake

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Originally uploaded by wolff71

After watching last season for the first tome last year, I vowed NEVER to get sucked in again. But I had to post thos photo of two fianlists from last year.

Patrick Wilson

I saw this a while back but recently revisited. If you guys saw Little Children, you already know he can act. That he is hot AND can sing is just amazing.